He shuffled around onto his side to face the blank wall trying to block out the openess of the world and block himself into an ever increasing claustrophobic lifestyle in his mind. No matter how much he tried to get away from people they were always there. He never did understand why people looked up to him. He stared at the blank, pale blue wall with such jealousy hoping that his mind could just relax into nothingness and get the peace he longed for. Everything that had happened to him had bought him closer to other people. For a moment he suddenly thought that it was a good thing, he got further in his life and was able to achieve so much more with others there. His eyes opened wider as he came to this sudden realisation that he knew all along. But that spark was no sooner put out as he rolled onto his back to face the ceiling.
"I'm fine by myself now. I have all the skills I need to survive. I'm not a child anymore."
He reluctantly spoke to himself as if to prove his dominance in own chaotic mind. Such passion, such anger, such power. The words of a man lost in his own head, lost in his own memories, lost in his own will and lost in his own past. But even the strongest of men can't face up to the reality of life.
"That's a lie. I don't know anything. I'm confused."
He closed his eyes and moved his body to face the wall once more blocking out the room and blocking out the light. In his mind it was also such a dark place dark. Clouds and squalls blocked everything leaving him to stay at the one place in his mind. Time compression froze everything in his head to one point in his life. The past. The people he had met, the places he had been. The rain droplets plummeting their way to the ground that night wondering where 'Sis' had gone to. It was then that he told himself he was to be stronger. He would be like the wolf. Strong, brave and loyal. But the lonely way of the wolf came at a price.
"I don't want to depend one anyone. How do I do that?"
The same question was asked over and over again in his mind, stuck in a constant loop. Time compression. Each question he asked just led him to the same place. The power he had used over time in his life as he trained himself to become stronger placed a wall in his mind. The memories in his head had faded long ago without him even noticing. Was it that he had not cared for the people he was once close to? The wall blocked out the past in an effort to push him forward and be himself. Slowly but surely, the memories surfaced. Not through the wall crumbling, but by meeting those again who he had lost once before.
"Someone tell me..."
Time compression...
"Someone? So I'll be relying on someone after all..."
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